Two Heads are Better than One
by bookdragon01
Summary: Gaila and a classmate ponder a new cadet's unique physiology and lay plans to explore further
1. Chapter 1

**Two Heads are Better than One**

**Summary**: Gaila and a classmate ponder a new cadet's unique physiology and lay plans to explore further

**Genre**: Humor

**Rating**: T

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but a twisted imagination

* * *

><p>"Seriously? Two?"<p>

Gaila nodded solemnly, watching her classmate process the implications.

An obscenely speculative smile crossed Larissa's face. "Serial or parallel?"

Gaila grinned. She knew she'd chosen the right person to share this information with. "I don't know ..._yet_. His planet just joined the Federation and he's the first to enter Starfleet."

"Then how do you...?"

"Mulhall in xenobiology," Gaila whispered. The woman was an invaluable source on alien physiology. It was a real shame that her peculiar attachment to monogamy kept her from doing anything really useful with the knowledge. "It might be why he's been so resistant to hooking up with anyone so far." By which she meant her on gloriously desirable green self, although why he'd think it would be an issue for an Orion she couldn't imagine.

"Hmm," Larissa's eyes slid to the dark blue hunk of Duamallian across the cafeteria. "Maybe the idea of just one woman is sort of strange for him, you know, considering..."

Yes! Great minds think alike! "Poor guy, he's probably afraid to ask," Gaila crinkled her nose. "Humans can be so weird about threesomes."

"Not _all_ humans," Larissa protested knowingly. "But I see you point. He doesn't have much to go on and being the only one of his kind here it has to be," she smirked slightly, "_doubly_ hard for him."

"Yeah," Gaila giggled. "And he seems kind of shy. If he's ever going to learn to adapt, I think it may be _up_ to us to help him."

Larissa considered the potential beneficiary of their expertise. "A direct approach might scare him off, but maybe if he were to come over to study and 'catch' the two of us together -"

"We could invite him to join in!" Gaila clapped gleefully. Not only was Larissa a tactical genius, but despite all that human-pink skin she was practically an Orion. Even if Mister Tall, Dark and Two-Cocked ran for the hills, the effort would be far from wasted. "I just knew you'd help me come up with the perfect plan."

"Well you know what they say," Larissa grinned at her. "Two heads are better then one."

Gaila beamed a sly smile. "With any luck, we'll find out."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Just silly little drabble inspired by a comment that the most improbable thing in <em>'Hitchhiker's Guide' _was that if someone like Zaphod could add a second head, it would be the kind to go on his shoulders._

_Yes, Larissa is the same OC that appears in _'The Affairs of Dragons'.

_Please r&r_


	2. Studies in Intergalactic Cooperation

**Studies in Intergalactic Cooperation**

* * *

><p>Beqnar peeked in hesitantly when the door opened to his presence. The formalities of 'coming in' used in the Federation and among the majority humans at the Academy were still strange to him, but Cadet Marks had said to 'drop by around 18:00', so he took a tentative step inward.<p>

The smell of sweat and arousal hit him like a _rowkubet_ as soon as he entered the room. _Dear Zranon, living among humans was going to kill him_. Other humanoids seemed to think it right and proper to join with a single female (and perhaps it was for their singular anatomy), but he had not yet given in to that perversion. However after nine months on earth, resisting was becoming increasingly hard (in more ways than one). Beqnar steeled himself. Zranon had given him two hands for a reason. He would obtain the article and retreat to his room as quickly as possible without giving offense.

Soft noises were coming from further within. "Hello?"

Receiving no answer, he looked around the screen separating the outer and inner rooms. His inner eyelids shaped open in surprise. It was the first time he'd seen other females sport in foreplay since leaving Duamallia. Beqnar hurried pulled back, flattening himself against the far side of the screen and trying to remember how to breath. This had to be a misunderstanding, like the confusion over conventions about slapping buttocks in the men's locker room.

Oh but the smell, the sounds... Beqnar silently cursed the inadequacy of human-designed cadet trousers. He closed his eyes. _Don't Panic. Think of turn-offs. Eating squiwatsch, cleaning quixxlelines..._

"Beqnar, we didn't hear you." The human female's voice was low and sultry. "I hope you haven't been waiting long."

The Orion stroked his shoulder as some obscenely soft portion of her anatomy pressed against his arm. "Why stand out here, when you could come in?"

_If only! No, no,_ ..._quixxlelines... _"I didn't mean to interrupt, but you ...you said," he tried to clear his throat, "that you had something for me."

"We do," she breathed in his ear.

_This couldn't be what he thought - __**wished! **__- it was. _He'd probably wake any moment to find it was the sort of dream that had made him start sleeping with his towel.

"You look like you could use _something_." Gaila's hand brushed near straining seams. "All you have to do is ask."

He opened his eyes, trepidation warring with hope. "Really?"

"Consent is _very_ important - a principle in Starfleet, just like," Larissa purred the word, "_teamwork_."

_Oh Zranon, that word had never sounded so appealing, but they weren't Duamallian..._

"And mutual understanding," Gaila's mouth was bent in a seductive curve. "We cadets are supposed to teach each other about our cultures, our worlds."

"That's why I joined Starfleet," Larissa whispered, her hand playing along his chest ridge, "to discover new worlds and new civilizations..."

"Sexuality is _such_ an important part of culture," Gaila's lips brushed his neck. "You're the first of your kind ...practically an ambassador... you have an obligation to represent your race."

One thing common to males of nearly every species is a remarkable facility for timely rationalization and Gaila's words hit Beqnar like an epiphany. _Yes! The Hierophant himself had said he had a sacred responsibility to represent their people well. _

He swallowed and tried to sound dignified despite a growing and unrestrainable smile. "I would not be remiss in my duty. It shall be my honor to engage in ...cultural exchange."

* * *

><p>.<p>

The next morning Beqnar floated to class as though earth's gravity had been cut in half. He was far from the most experienced of his kind in the area of last night's exchange, but both women had been enthusiastic students and had proven themselves to be most excellent (and creative!) teachers. Better yet, they had suggested further meetings for in depth study and possibly even expanding class to include extra participants. More than two was just a distant fantasy for males his age, but three or more exotic females with new 'understanding' to share! - his hearts (and other parts) stirred just thinking about it. Coming to the Academy had been the best decision of his life!

He could hardly wait to tell his friends at home about his new found appreciation for intergalactic cooperation.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I really hadn't intended to continue this, but a friend remarked on another reason that carrying a towel might be useful and then the target of Gaila and Larissa's experiment suddenly showed up in my brain to tell his side of the story.<em>

_Please r&r_


End file.
